


Wait,what?! part deux

by Lavanyalabelle



Series: Ask for crack and ye shall receive a crackfic. [2]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Incredible Hulk - All Media Types, Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Hijinks, Humour, M/M, May hop fandoms on request, Other, Unreliable Narrator, Violence, actually no, dimension hopping, lunatic writer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-17
Updated: 2015-05-18
Packaged: 2018-03-31 00:24:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3957484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lavanyalabelle/pseuds/Lavanyalabelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I find it difficult to digest when Thor & Loki who grow up as brothers suddenly become Thorki by discovering heretofore unknown feelings or become suddenly incestuous as soon as it's revealed that Loki is adopted. I mean if they're  under influence like being sex-pollened or one of them had romantic feelings for the other, it could be justified. I just can't comprehend how they go at it like energizer bunnies at the drop of a hat out of the blue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Whyndancer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whyndancer/gifts).



> Disclaimer: Anti-litigation charm, apply where and when necessary.
> 
> Warning: Unbetaed crack which may contain spoilers. As requested in the first fic of the series, please suspend your disbelief. And fasten your seatbelts to enjoy this gravity(common sense,science)and reality(canon) defying ride.

[Leave your prompts here](justdessertsfortea.tumblr.com)

Previously in [Wait,what? (numero uno)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3186473/chapters/8868211)

 

Loki popped in, hearing Darcy's frantic whispering of "OhmyLoki, what did I do? I have a bad feeling about this."

 

Unfortunately, disproving Harry Potter's magic and electronics don't mix did not go so well. In fact, Loki's  teleporting to Darcy happened to be in the vicinity of beeping machine; science and magic worked a little too well.

 

The machine stopped beeping and instead started producing a sound not unlike an activated bifrost.

 

The room was enveloped in a bright cacophony of colours.

************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************Onwards*********************************************************************************************************************************************

 

Darcy started, and her drink spilled. "Shite. L.." and found herself falling upwards . They landed near a somewhat familiar landscape.

 

"Loki? Does this seem familiar to you?" She  asked quietly.

 

"Yes. Thank the Norns! This is the northern courtyard of the Allmother's  personal garden."

 

"Jane's machine works, isn't that wonderful?" Darcy beamed with pride.

 

"Indeed. How my fool of a brother managed to successfully woo her, I will never cease to wonder." Loki smirked.

 

"Hey, no dissing my adopted brother." She pouted.

 

 

"Yes, yes. Let's be on our way, shall we?"

 

"Let's. I had plans for you, plans which were of the other otherworldly type and not nauseating as this one."

 

"I am sure we can have the other otherworldly experience yet."

 

"Mm. I need a bath first, I spilled my slurpee in the accident. I am feeling gross."

 

"As you wish. To the bath chambers, it is." With a besotted smile, and a slash of his hands, Loki transported them  to his wing of the palace.

 

Darcy loved the fact that he declared his love in little ways, immersing himself in pop culture and the politics of her world to understand her better.

"I love you too." She whispered.

 

Loki smiled at the quiet exclamation, and threw open the doors to his bedchambers.

 

And promptly closed it again.

 

************************************************************************************************************************************************************

"What happened? Why are you looking so green?"

 

"I think I might be hallucinating. Can frost giants even hallucinate? Oh my eyes!"

 

"What?"

 

"I think I should try to ah.. what was the term? Yes. 'Obliviate' this experience."

 

"What are you on about?"

 

"Nothing." He said, too quickly for the God of Lies.

 

"Why are you behaving so strangely? Open the door, please."

 

" What? NO-o." He started.

 

"Wait, I can pick out some voices. Real familiar too!" Darcy exclaimed.

 

"Loki, why would there be people in your room? And one of them has your voice! Is this a prank?"

 

"I don't-no! Wait, you can hear it too? I thought I was... What is happening?!"

 

 

The voices carried on, unknowing....

 

 

The two figures embraced.


	2. La vie en Thorki(or is it?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Darcy's accidental adventure takes a horrifying/humorous turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Liberal use of purple prose.   
> And THORKI!AHOY.  
> Also, you may recognise one or two lines adapted from the movies.  
> For disclaimer see Chapter 1.

The voices carried on, unknowing....

The two figures embraced.

 

****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

 

" I am sorry, for all the slights that I unknowingly .." The golden one began.

"Stop, brother. I forgive you. I was jealous of the attention you gave your friends , when I, your brother, starved for a bit of acceptance. My bitterness led to your banishment. But now that you are back, I wish to forget our questionable actions in the past and start life anew." He sighed, "Do you forgive me, brother?"

"I can't, because you have done nothing to be forgiven. Let bygones be bygones. Remember that I love you..."

" And I, you. In the weapons vault, when I touched the Casket, I thought I was cursed. But I was blessed. I am to unite the two realms in peace and holy matrimony. " Loki smiled.

" And soon, for I cannot wait to make you mine. My beloved betrothed. You are to burdened with glorious purpose." Thor winked with a suggestive leer on his face.

"Oh, brother! They should call you the 'Silvertongue' ". Loki's cheeks reddened.

"Oh no, brother. It is you who inspires me." He beamed.

"Give us a kiss,then." He smirked in turn.

"Gladly." He drew him nearer, cupping Loki's face with one hand, while tangling the other in his hair; beginning chastely , taking little sips from his lips, but it escalated quickly and he began kissing him with the air intensity of a man starved of breath.

***************************************************************************************************************************************************************************  
Loki gasped and turned paler.

"Pinch me,Darcy." He muttered.

"Honestly, Loki! Now is not the time to indulge in kinks. Some serious shit is going on."

Loki squawked, in outrage. "Kinks. Kinks?! Really? I am stuck in this nightmare and you think... Wait, you are seeing what I am seeing, correct?"

 

Darcy looked again, through the opening in the doorway. Darcy whimpered." Yep. Thorki. It's like a train wreck. I cannot look away. I don't know if I am turned on or disturbed. Like, seriously?!" She exclaimed, "Wait, that came out wrong. I don't mean I'm turned on by trainwrecks."

Loki stepped back, hiding his face, his hands covering his eyes. "Just as I feared." His muffled voice came out.

 

***********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************  
Thor's kisses were making him dizzy. He moaned with anxious need.

Thor stopped. He had forgotten that showing such open affections were frowned upon before marriage. He did not want to give cause to anyone to find faults in his beloved. He knew now what they said behind his back. But Loki was not to be deterred. He was mischief personified.

"Brother, you are the most magnificent specimen of manhood in the Nine Realms. You're the brightest sun in Asgardian sky. Your eyes are indeed not unlike the sky and I find myself soaring. Your fair hair is spun gold, infinitely more beautiful and precious than the royal treasury. Your courage and honour is a thing of beauty to behold. Let's copulate and rule Asgard together!" 

"Nay, Loki! It is you who is beautiful. Your slender features lend you a grace incomparable. Your eyes, they hide at will your passions ,undiscovered but by few. 'Tis I who drowns in their unfathomable depths. Your hair is like silken obsidian which attracts my attention like a raven is drawn to precious glimmering objects. My courage is tempered by your wit, my honour by your charm. Beloved, let us bind our souls in the blessed bonds of matrimony."

"Oh Thor! I can hardly wait. Father will be so happy!"

"Verily, brother. As will the Allmother when the slope of your hips become heavy and bears her the grandchildren that she so desperately desires."

"Mother is wise, she told me that there is a purpose to everything that the Allfather does. I just could not comprehend what it was on time."

*************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************  
"Dontcha think we should reveal ourselves, and investigate what's happening?" Darcy inquired.

Loki started to answer, "I, uh. Yes. ...We should-um .. look into.."

 

The door slammed open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review, this is my first attempt at somewhat humourous purple prose.

**Author's Note:**

> Please do not forget to review. Tell me whether you liked it, hated it, loved it, can't be bothered. Tell me what you do and don't like about it. As usual, feel free to point out if there are any mistakes.
> 
> Also, I am still taking prompts for my soulmate au(which should be updated in a day) and if you have any requests that you want me to include in this crackfic, send me a msg on my tumblr(link provided in the chapter) or through comments.  
> Thanks for taking the time to read and review, for all the appreciation. I am humbled. And I love you.


End file.
